Anna Karenina, A deeper look

It's about time I start truthfully stating my opinions about this book. For one thing, I'm actually not a big fan of this book. The point of view is very confusing, as well as, admittedly, some of the words. The language is annoying too--fancy and delicate but yet to me it's still a knot of a spider web, so fragile that I'm not sure I can untangle it and so twisted that I'm not sure if I could, even if it was the toughest of ropes. I find that life is like this as well, though like with this book, I'm just pushing it upon myself. Pushing myself to read this, pushing myself to take extra classes, pushing myself away... And the more I think about it, the more I realize that the only reason why I'm reading this tangled book is that my life is tangled as well, and all I'm doing is reading this book, trying to make sense of it as if it's my life. In a way, that's what the book is about too. I mean, the characters are all just trying to deal with their emotions, and yet they don't even understand what those truly are for they're stuck untangling the spider web with me.

If you're wondering why I'm writing this entry so early in the week, when I couldn't have possibly read too many more pages in the book, that's a simple answer. For those who know me, they could get it from the first paragraph. For those who don't, I'll just tell you so you aren't caught up with me. It's because while I haven't read a billion pages yet, or reread come to think of it, I have realized something about myself and about the book. I've realized that there are certain things in my life that I have screwed up, that I need to fix, that I have distorted in such a way that I might need help doing so. But I've also realized that I've been judging the characters too harshly from this book as well, writing them off as immature, harsh, bitchy (for the lack of a better word), insecure, weaklings, and so many other things. Yet, when I think about it, every person on this planet has at least one of those traits, and even if they hide it, it's still true. And every person has messed-up his or her own life in unique ways, but we can't do it alone. Only together can we fix our mistakes, and I believe that the characters in Anna Karenina are going to learn this lesson since while the book itself may be about adultery, the characters aren't all grouped together to represent this one idea since each individual isn't the same. So I need to reevaluate these characters, whom I wish I could apologize to for being so mean to them. And for Anna Karenina herself... I need to take her off the pedestal. Just because the book is named after her and she's the main character doesn't mean that she's not flawed and needs to fix her own life in her own way. It doesn't mean that she isn't lonely from being so adored but not truly loved, as she is when everyone gushes over her but doesn't see her for what she truly is, for the woman who thinks about her friend's suitor way too much, to the point where she confuses herself even though she's a married woman. But if you're still confused on why I'm writing this right here, right now, it's just simply because I watched too much TV and somehow realized things about myself and the book I'm reading while doing it--then I just didn't want to let the mood, my ideas or my realization go to waste while I just do the rest of my homework.

There is is, my blog entry for the week. I hope you don't mark it down just because it's unconventional.